A secret of my own
by LaerkeRosenberg
Summary: What happens when Claire starts hearing voices? And for how long can she keep it a secret? One thing is sure – Morganville is never without trouble!
1. Chapter 1 - The scream

**A secret of my own**

 **What happens when Claire starts hearing voices? And for how long can she keep it a secret? One thing is sure – Morganville is** _ **never**_ **without trouble!**

 _Hi everyone, this is my first fanfiction ever! I'm from Denmark, so my English isn't quite perfect, but you should definitely be able to understand it xD I hope you'll enjoy my story 3_

 **Chapter 1 - The Scream**

 _Claire's POV_

Morganville had been quiet for almost three month now, which was unbelievable. I knew I was supposed to be happy and enjoy it, but instead it just freaked me out. The truth was that Morganville wasn't supposed to be good and quiet, but chaos as normally. There should at least be _one_ thing wrong – _one_ thing to fear. But no. Not a single thing was wrong, with the exception of the vampires of course. Morganville was still ruled by vampires, like always, but that was kind of normal here, at least for us who knew it. Shane, Michael and Eve acted the opposite of me. They all acted as you really should, when Morganville was quiet like this. They enjoyed every single minute of it. I tried to do so too, I really did, but I just couldn't relax.

"Claire, are you even listening?" Shane said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah, of course I'm listening" I lied.

The good thing about Shane was that he knew me so well, and in this case he knew I lied.

"What's wrong?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer. It wasn't the first time we have had this conversation, and probably also not the last.

"Nothing. That's the problem Shane. Nothing is wrong, but we live in Morganville for God sake, which makes it totally wrong that nothing is wrong. Because something really should be wrong, and we all know it!"

"Claire you're babbling now, so just … stop, okay. I get what you mean, I really do and you have to trust me on that. But what I don't get is why you just can't enjoy it? We finally have an opportunity to actually enjoy being all happy together, you, me, Michael and Eve. We don't need to sacrifice us self, or be worried about protecting each other constantly. But no, you keep ruining it! I'm sorry I have to say this Claire, but I just really wish that was enough for you."

I was absolutely and completely speechless. We have had this conversation so many times, through this three month, but not once had Shane acted like that. I knew he didn't get why I couldn't just be happy and enjoy it, but still…

"I … Shane, I am happy! So happy, that the fear of loosing this conquer all the happiness. Trust me, I want it to be like this, but I just need to be sure that it's not going to disappear as soon as I accept it."

We were both quiet for a minute or two. I wasn't sure if I should say anymore or not, so I just kept quiet. Finally Shane spoked.

"It's not because I'm angry Clare. You just have to understand …. I lived my whole life with troubles bottled up, and now I'm finally free from all of it. But if you can't even enjoy this with me – then what is it even worth?

I could feel tears threatening by showing, but I didn't let them. I didn't want to look weak in front of anyone, not even Shane. So instead, I turned around in the couch, just as Michael came around the corner into the living room.

"What's up guys? Ready for dinner?" Michael asked with his sweet angel voice.

"Of course they are! It's buuuuurgeeeer!" Eve came singing in. Both Shane and I rolled our eyes - None of us really in the mood for an over-exited Eve. Michael clearly saw that.

"Something wrong?" he asked immediately, with a hidden concern.

"No!" Shane and I answered in choir. We could just as well had yelled 'yeah, we are in the middle of a huge discussion about some shit', from the way we both spitted the 'no' out. I wasn't sure rather I should be mad at Shane or he should be at me, but at this point I didn't care. I only knew that I definitely wasn't in the mood for small talk and burgers.

"I'm not that hungry" I lied "and I also have a lot of homework for tomorrow, so uhmm…" I didn't know what to say next, so instead I turned around and walked upstairs to my room.

I barely made it through my bedroom door before a serious headache hit me. Everything became a blur, but thankfully my bed wasn't too far away. I sat there for multiple minutes with me head in my hands, before I became able to see my surroundings again. My balance was a bit off when I went standing again, but at least I could see clear now. I considered calling Shane but I was still too mad at him. Plus he made it pretty clear, that he didn't want to have anything to do with any kind of problems.

I tried making some physics, but the pain in my head was still too intense. Instead I went to bed. I knew it was only eight o'clock but I was too tired, mad and dizzy to care.

I woke up in the dark by an ear-killing scream. My room was still in absolute darkness so it had to be in the middle of the night. The panic sat in, and I turned so fast to switch on my bedside lamp. But there was nothing to see – my room looked completely as it should, which made me really confused. The scream had been so loud, how could it not had come from my room? Nothing seemed wrong, everything looked the same. Expect me. I was covered in sweat from top to toe. I rose from my bed and once again a headache hit me, together with a heavy dizziness.

I went out my room and down to the kitchen, where I took a glass, filled it with water, drank it, and did it over and over again. A couple of glasses later I realised that the scream must have been from a dream. No, not a dream – a nightmare. But that just freaked me more out, because I didn't remember any part of the nightmare besides the scream. I didn't know what to do next. I couldn't go back to sleep in my bedroom, just the thought of it scared me. I also couldn't go to Shane, Eve or Michael – they would just give me that unbearable pity look. I ended up on the couch in the living room, where I tried to fall back to sleep.

At five o'clock in the morning I gave up. There was no way I was going to fall asleep again. I could just as well get up and eat some early breakfast, instead of laying here doing nothing. But just as I sat up I heard the scream loud and clear again. It was the exact same scream as earlier from my nightmare - but this time it was real! And it was Eve's. 

**I really hoped you enjoyed the first chapter of this fanfiction! I'm aware that this is a totally cliff-hanger, and I'm sorry for that … but hey, that just means you'll have to read the next chapter too, right?**

 **See you soon**


	2. Chapter 2 - Once again

**A secret of my own**

 **Disclaimer:** I do _not_ owe any parts of the The Morganville Vampires, or the characters - This is all Rachel Caine's amazing work! Except this story line of course that is 100 % my work

 **Btw.** Thanks a lot for the reviews on chapter 1! They mean so much to me so thank you, thank you, thank you!

 **Chapter 2 – Once again**

 _Claire's POV_

I jumped of the couch, ran up the stairs and directly into Eve's bedroom. Michael was already there, looking down on Eve's bed, but not at Eve because she wasn't in her bed. Instead Eve stood in the corner in the other side of the room, as far away from the bed as possible. What the hell, I thought.

Just when I was going to ask the first one of my 10.000 questions, I had in my thoughts at that very moment, Shane appeared in the room.

"Everyone's alright?" he asked a little out of breath. He had probably been running too, just as I did.

"Yeah everything's fine, it's just Eve that chicken!" Michael almost spat out.

"What happened?" I finally asked.

"I was asleep but then I felt something on my hand. Spider! A giant spider was crawling right on my hand. Who wouldn't have screamed? Huh?" Eve almost yelled.

I couldn't argue with her. I would have done exactly the same thing. Clearly the guys thought the same, or at least accepted Eve's actions on the spider-episode, because none of them said anything.

"Did you find it Michael?" I asked.

"No. Unfortunately not, but I'm pretty sure it want come back after _that_ scream." He answered.

I couldn't argue with this neither.

"Well… If that was it, I think I will go back to bed. It's still way too early for me." Shane said, breaking the silence. But before he went on, he gave me his typical little nod and smile, which I right away, knew was an invitation for me to follow.

The chance for me to actually fall asleep again, was probably bigger if I vent with Shane to his room. Plus his bed was ten times more comfortable than the couch and a lot bigger.

But just as I turned around I realized something! This scream, Eve's scream, was the scream I had already heard. There was no doubt at all, I knew it was the same. I remembered every single detail about it, about both of them, and they were the exact the same scream. A wave of dizziness hit me right away. I grabbed the door frame fast, and just as I stabilised myself, the dizziness disappeared again. It went so quick that I wasn't even sure it had happened.

Shane stood outside his bedroom door, looking down in the ground, so he probably hadn't seen anything. Thank God.

Eve's bedroom door got closed behind me, as I walked completely out the door and closer to Shane. He looked up right away.

"Soooo… Why don't you, you know. Uhmm. Spend the rest of the night, or morning, or whatever this is…" Shane said, or rather tried to say.

If I thought I'd been babbling earlier, when we had our discussion, it was nothing compared to his babbling now.

"Shane. Yeah, I would like to sleep the rest of the night together with you."

A small smiled showed on his beautiful lips and together we walked into his room. None of us said anything. We just went to bed, holding hands, with a smile on both of our faces. And just before everything turned completely dark for my eyes, I felled a kiss on my forehead. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep with a smile on my lips.

…

The next morning, the smile was still on my lips. I turned around in the Shane's big, warm arms to see if he was awake. He wasn't. Silently I slipped out of bed, and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower, before I went to my own room and change into some clean clothes.

Michael and Eve were already up and in action. Eve was setting the table in the living room, and Michael was in the kitchen making egg and bacon. The smell of the breakfast was amazing.

For the first time in forever, I actually felt like everything was good. After Shane and I went back to bed last night, after the spider-episode, I only had one dream. And the best about it was the fact that it was a dream, not a nightmare like the scream. The dream was a normal morning and all four of us were enjoying the breakfast in each other's company. Michael broke a plate because he apparently thought he was a little bit too good to serve, but that was the only 'bad' thing that happened. It was actually a really sweet dream.

"Good morning Claire, slept well after everything? You know what I mean." Michael asked, smiling.

"Yeah I did. I actually had a very sweet dream." I answered smiling by the thought of the dream.

"Nasty, Claire! Michael and I do _not_ need to hear about your sex dream with Shane!" Eve laughed.

"Wait what?!" I almost yelled in shock.

"That was not at all what I meant by sweet dream Eve! I'm not that disgusting, what do you think of me?" I continued embarrassed.

And that was when it hit me that Eve was just joking since she was still laughing. When I first moved in here, it took me a very long time to learn the Glasshouse-humour, but after a while I got used to it. But sometimes I still forgot it, as in this moment.

Michael and I joined Eve's laughing, and there didn't go long before we were all out of breath with happy tears sliding down our cheeks. Eve and I even laughed so much so we ended up rolling around on the floor.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

I rose from the kitchen floor to confirm that it was Shane. It was of course.

"Uhmm…" I started, but didn't know what else to say. Instead Eve, Michael and I just laughed a little more.

"Never mind Shane, not important." I finally said with a big smile.

Together all four of us brought the last things to the table in the living room, such as glass, napkins and of course the food.

Eve, Shane and I had just taken a seat when Michael came through the kitchen door with the last plates, and that was when it happened.

Michael's right elbow hit the door frame and the plate he was carrying in the right hand, flew out of his grab. It landed hard on the floor and broke in about a million pieces.

I think Michael yelled "ouch", and Eve and Shane also said something, but what they said I wasn't so sure about. It was like I got pulled through a cloud. Every sound became blurred and my vision went blank. It wasn't because I couldn't see anything; because my eyes were wide open, but it just… To be honest I didn't know what on earth was happening to me. The only thing I was sure about, was that the scream-episode couldn't impossible be a coincidence anymore. Something weird was going on. Something with me. Something that shouldn't be happening.

When I finally was finished by being pulled through the cloud, Michael, Eve and Shane was all on the floor. They were obviously trying to find all the pieces of the plate, and of course the food there also was all over the floor now.

I didn't know what to do, so just like yesterday I lied.

"Uhmm… Sorry guys but Myrnin just texted me, I need to go to the lab right away, hope you'll be fine. Sorry." I said, running out the room and out the door.

What the hell was going on with me? Could I really see into the future? No. It wasn't like that.

I decided to go to Myrnin, even though what I said about the text was just a lie. At least this way, it wasn't so much of a lie. Right now I just needed to get a little bit away from the Glasshouse.

 **Soooo, that was chapter 2! Can Claire see into the future? Well, she obviously doesn't think so herself. But then what is going on? Maybe you'll find out in chapter 3, which will be uploaded asap, so how about following this story? Or maybe just review?**

 **See you soon**


	3. Chapter 3 - Something

**A secret of my own**

 **Thanks** for the new reviews! They means so much to me and it's always great to get new ideas and so on – so thank you, thank you, thank youuu

 **Sorry** for the long breaks between my chapters but I'm really busy at the time, because of school (my last year in gymnasium), horseback riding and training (I'm going into the military to august).

Buuuuut, here it finally is – chapter 3!

 **Chapter 3 – Something's up**

 _Shane's POV_

It all happened so fast. One second Eve, Claire and I was sitting at the table, the next everything was a mess and Claire was gone. Michael had lost grab of one of the plates and it was now all over the floor in thousands of pieces, together with all the food there was on it. Eve and I went to help right away, but I didn't even notice that Claire hadn't moved until I was crawling around the floor, picking of pieces of the plate.

"Claire?" I asked.

It didn't even seemed like she heard or saw me, but then she looked up. It was like it was the first time she actually noticed what was going on.

"Uhmm… Sorry guys but Myrnin just texted me; I need to go to the lab right away. Hope you'll be fine. Sorry." she said in a weird, rushed voice, and with that she was out the door.

"What was that?" Eve asked.

"You heard her Eve. Myrnin texted her." Michael answered.

"Oh come on Michael you have to agree that it was weird, and not so Claire alike." Eve continued.

I knew I should probably get involved in the conversation they had, but I didn't know what to say. It was weird. The way she just ran out without even an explanation. Claire always explained, and she also always helped when she was able to.

"I'll talk to her when she gets home." I finally said.

Myrnin could be really bossy with Claire so it wouldn't surprise me if it was nothing, but I needed to make sure. Isn't that how a boyfriend should do? I wasn't sure. I had never been good at the whole relationship thing. I'm just glad Claire loves me anyways. At least that it was she said she does.

• • •

 _Claire's POV_

I couldn't believe what an idiot I had been. And the most stupid thing was that now they would probably be suspicious. But then again why would they? I running of to help Myrnin wasn't a new thing. He could be really bossy sometime, which they all knew, but I always accepted it because of the simple reason; I loved working for him. I loved working with him. His love to his work was amazing to watch, and the science we had worked on has been so cool. Being in Myrnin's lab is like paradise for a girl like me. I know it sounds ridiculous but it was the truth. Or at least it was paradise when something didn't go terrible wrong.

"Myrnin?" I yelled when I finally got there.

"Claire? Is it you? Why would you be here? Why would you be here now in my lab? You are not supposed to be here are you?"

Talking with Myrnin never got easy. Understanding his sentences and answer him quick enough, before one question turned into a thousands, has always been the hardest part. But through the time I had worked with him, I had definitely become better at it.

"Uhm, I just thought you might need some help?" I tried a bit nervous.

"Well, now that you're here..."

... And just like that seven hours went by.

• • •

 _Shane's POV_

The clock was 6 pm and Claire still wasn't home from Myrnin's place. The sun was almost completely down and I couldn't stop worrying if she was okay. I still didn't trust Myrnin at all, but I'd learn to accept him. Or actually not really him but the fact that he was Claire's boss. It has been a while since he last tried to kill her and I guessed that had to count at something.

I went downstairs to talk with Eve and Michael, maybe they had heard something from her, and if not we would have to decide who should go look for her.

I didn't even make it to the stairs before I heard Claire's voice loud and clear downstairs.

"Yeah, I know. But it could have been different."

"Right, but it wasn't. He's never right." Michael said in a serious voice.

Right away I thought they were talking about me.

"Why aren't I ever right?" I asked with anger already rising in my voice.

I had never been good at controlling my temper, and probably never would be. It was just how I was, always had been. Claire always just said it was a part of my personality. She was way to positive it all kinds of ways, but I guessed that was one of the things I really liked about her.

They all turned to look at me because of my involving in their conversation.

"What are you talking about?" Claire asked, clearly confused.

"I'm talking about what you're talking about. I'm right sometimes you know."

"Uhm, Shane, we were talking about the weather-man was wrong again?" Michael interrupted.

And in the next moment Claire, Eve and Michael all burst out laughing, and just as usual I couldn't help laughing with them. I was so stupid sometimes.

• • •

Dinner went as usual; a lot of chit chatting about nothing and everything, bad jokes and silence when eating. But as dinner went on Claire got more and more silence in the conversations we were having. She didn't look like as she had looked earlier; totally 'gone', but she definitely didn't look like herself either. It reminded me of what I'd said earlier to Michael and Eve; I would to talk to her, ask if everything was okay. It was time to be the good and sweet boyfriend I normally only showed Claire in serious matters.

"So whose turn is it to take the dishes?" Eve asked.

I gave Michael a look right away, and then a glance to Claire. I knew he would understand. That was the great thing about me and Michael's friendship. We have known each other for so long that we could easily have a whole conversation in one look. I really appreciated that sometimes, even though I never really told him. I just never shared feelings like that; another part of my personality I guessed.

"I will. Or we if you're up for helping Eve?" Michael said with a wink at the ending.

"Sure, why not."

I follow Claire upstairs, afterwards, into her own bedroom.

"So what's up Mr. Obvious?" Claire asked while smiling.

Damn, already busted.

"Uhmm, not much really. Or actually I need to ask you something Claire. Are you okay?"

"Of course, why shouldn't I be?"

"You've just seemed a little bit off today?" I admitted.

"Off?"

"Yeah, I mean you haven't really seemed like yourself. First you disappeared really quick at the breakfast, and"

"I told you; Myrnin needed me." She interrupted.

"Yeah I know what you said Claire, but that wasn't the only time. Also now at dinner you wasn't your normally happy you."

"Well sorry I'm a bit tired after seven hours of work with Myrnin." She said harshly.

"Claire…"

"No seriously Shane what's next? You're going to blame me for spending too much time with Myrnin again, or just for me being reckless because he once tried to kill me, huh?" She continued.

"Claire stop! He hasn't only tried to kill you once, but multiples times and you know, but that's not even what matters right now. I'm not trying to start a fight here, I'm just worried okay. Fair enough if the only reason is that you're tired, I just needed to make sure nothing else was going on."

Something was definitely up. No doubt anymore. Claire has not ever started a fight with me like that, and it really worried me.

"I'm just tired Shane. Sorry. Can we maybe talk tomorrow? I would really like to go early to bed today if that's okay?" She asked.

Her face has turned sad. She honestly seemed tired, maybe a bit stressed out. I felled a bit guilty right away but it got overruled by the anger there was rising inside me. First she lied about only being tired and then she basically throws me out of her room.

I settled with a nod and a sad smile, before I turned around walking into the hallway. I barely got through the door before I felt it closed behind me.

I already hated this, the fact that I didn't know what to do. I couldn't possibly be the problem could I? No. It was something else, and I wasn't going to stop worrying about it, about Claire, before I knew was what up and what was going on.

 **And just like that chapter 3 was over, but luckily for you it's definitely not the ending of this story xD I tried writing in Shane's POV this time also – Should I continue writing in different point of views or not? Review and let me know what you think! No matter what, the next chapter (4) is probably going to be mostly in Claire's POV because of the idea I already have for that chapter**

 **See you soon**


	4. Chapter 4 - Too much

**A secret of my own**

 **Disclamer:** Once again – I do _not_ owe any of these fantastic characters from The Morganville Vampires, or anything else from that book series… I wish I did though! All credit to Rachel Caine's great imagination and perfect story writing.

 **Sorry** for the seriously way to long wait for this chapter, but here it finally is! Enjoy

 **Chapter 4 – Too much**

 _Claire's POV_

It's been two weeks now. I'm so confused all the time. I don't eat as much as I used too, which says a lot, since I've always had a big appetite. Besides the confusion and lacking of appetite, I also barely sleep anymore. Shane kept asking questions about everything – Am I okay, what's wrong, if I don't want any more to eat, and so on. I wish I could be honest and tell him the truth but no. He didn't want trouble, so I want give him any. Besides what should I say?

I'd stopped counting the incidents now. It got too much to think about how often it happened. It all started with Eve's scream, then Michael's plate at dinner, Shane being late, Michael falling the last steps down the stair, Eve's car not working, and the list goes on. Most of the incidents had been very small and unimportant, but it still bothered me. How could it not? For god sake, I could see the future or something like that at least.

No.

This had to end.

I couldn't do it anymore.

I needed to tell them. The truth. To all of them.

I was just so afraid. I didn't know what I was the most afraid of though. Their reactions or admitting I'd been lying for Shane for two weeks. He would hate me so much, but I honestly didn't care anymore, I knew it was time for the truth to be told.

We were all siting in couch so it couldn't actually be more perfect timing for me to confess. But… Oh my god! Why was I such a chicken al of a sudden? I'd always been brave, why loosing that quality now when I really needed it? Typical. But then when? Dinner. Dinner would be a good time to tell.

"Really? You really think that's a good idea?"

"What?" I answered.

And just as I said it, it hit me! I hadn't said I would wait for dinner out loud. The only thing I'd said out loud was 'What?' How the hell could any of them ask me about it, when I hadn't said anything? What the hell.

Michael, Eve and Shane all turned around, looking weirdly at me, which only proved my thought right. None of them had said anything!

"Sorry guys, I was just.. uhmm, thinking out loud." I tried.

"And you were just randomly thinking of the word 'what'?" Michael asked clearly confused.

I know the most stupid thing I could do was not saying anything, but I had nothing. Even though thousands of thoughts ran through my mind, my brain and mouth just couldn't figure out how to work together.

"You okay? You look really tired Claire." Eve asked concerned.

I was so tired of that shitty question.

"Yeah I'm fine Eve. Long day that's all."

To my luck the movie was apparently very exciting, and all of theirs attention quickly turned back to the television. Guess it was my lucky day.

I leaned back into the couch, relaxing as well, when Shane's arm came around me. It was one of those perfect small moments that I just loved. For once I could forget about the nightmares.

… But of course it didn't last long.

"You want perfect Claire? You only the good stuff? Hahahaha! You're so stupid my dear. Too stupid."

I jumped up from the couch in one quick move, scared out of my mind. I swear to god I heard that sentence I my mind, but it definitely wasn't one of my thoughts. It wasn't even my voice. Still in panic I turned around and checked all of the corners of the living room. The voice had to be here. Anything else couldn't be possible. But it was and I knew it. The last two weeks had proved that to me. I was already able to see parts of the future so why not hearing voices as well? The headache and dizziness was back in a second, at the same time something touched my shoulder. I screamed and jumped to the site, falling over our small, low coffee table. As fast as I had fell, as fast I was up standing again. The adrenaline pumping around inside me was definitely kicking in. Shane's arm was still in the middle of the air. Damn it. He had only tried to help me and all I did was acting like a crazy person. But I guessed that was what I was; a crazy person.

Before I knew of it, tears started running down my cheeks. I couldn't get myself to look at any of them, because I already knew what their expression would be like. Confused, sad, afraid, shocked. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't pick myself together to look them in their eyes and tell them truth. And in that moment, I didn't even know what the truth was.

Before I could finish my next thought, I turned around and ran for the backdoor in the kitchen. I think I heard them yell my name but I wasn't sure. The mix of my heading and thousands of thoughts didn't let me hear much, besides my own heart racing.

I only got a few meters out in the garden before I ran into Michael. Damn vampire speed. I looked up at him waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. He just looked at me with those big blue eyes of his. So instead I finally picked myself together and raised my voice. And for the first time in, what felt like a very long time, I didn't lie.

"I can't. I can't do this anymore Michael. At least not alone."

And that was when everything turned black, and all I could feel was a pair of strong arms catching me before I reach the ground.

 **So close! Claire was so close to tell them all the truth, but I guess it never goes as planned in this little fanfiction of mine xD Good luck explaining this one Claire :/**

 **See you soon**


	5. Chapter 5 - Let us in

**A secret of my own**

 **I don't know if any of my readers are from Scotland, but if you are; wow an amazing country you live in! I just came home yesterday, from a 5-days travel to Edinburgh with my sisters, and we really enjoyed it**

 **Btw. your messages and reviews mean a lot to me, so a big thanks to you guys who write! If you have any great ideas for the story you're more than welcome to tell me. As always, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 5 – Let us in**

 _Michael's POV_

"I can't. I can't do this anymore Michael. At least not alone."

That was Claire's last words before her eyes closed and she fell. I grab her before she hit the ground. But the proud thought I should have felt by catching her, was no place to be found. Probably because I should have caught her a long time ago, since Claire's problem obviously wasn't something new. I just felt so bad.

"Omg, Claire!" Shane screamed while running through the backdoor. "Mickey, what…"

"She just passed out." I interrupted.

Eve came running right behind Shane. Tears started rolling down her face right away, but I couldn't worry about Eve right now. I was the oldest, and in spite of how freaked out I was, I needed to act as the adult.

"Shane open the door, I'll carry her to the couch." I said, but he didn't move he just stood there staring with shocked eyes at Claire. I knew Shane loved Claire, but moments like these just proofed how much he really did love her – how much she means to him.

"Shane she'll be okay. Go open the door please."

He finally nodded and started moving to the door.

When we got to the couch I put her down, as slowly and careful as I was able to. We all sat there looking at her anxious. And when her eyes started opening I felt like I could finally breathe again. Claire had become like my little sister and just the thought about losing her scared the crap out of me. She was mine responsibility.

"Claire! Hey, you okay, just take it easy." Shane said, taking her hand in his.

It looked like she nodded but it was hard to tell, since her head barely moved.

"I'm sorry." She whispered so low that only I could hear because of my vampire skills. When she blinked, tears streamed down her cheeks.

She didn't need to say anything. I already knew that all this was our fault, Eve, Shane and mines. We should have been there for her; we should have known something was up. Instead we had just been running around as a bunch of happy freaks. It could seem like we didn't even care about her, which was nowhere near the truth.

"No, we are." I answered.

We looked each other in the eyes; having a silent conversation.

"For how long Claire?" I continued.

"How long what?" Eve asked, looking back and forward between Claire and I. Clearly Eve and Shane didn't get it. Honestly I guessed I didn't really know either. All I knew was that I didn't really care about what exactly was wrong, but instead about how long it had been going on.

"Two weeks. It had been two weeks." Claire finally answered. Her voice seemed so small and weak.

"Claire," Shane broke in "what have been two weeks?"

This time Claire didn't hesitate answering.

"I've… It's… I don't know. It's a long story and I don't even know how to explain it, and I also have no idea what it all means. "

"Try Claire, for us." Eve said with a sweet and not at all harshly voice.

"Okay... Remember the night with the spider?"

We all nodded.

"Well, that was the first time it happened."

"What happened?" Shane asked.

"I had a dream that night. I didn't dream about the spider and us being in the room, but I heard the scream. I dreamed I heard it before I actually heard it."

"Uhmm Claire that was probably just a nightmare you know?" Eve stated, obviously not really getting what Claire was trying to say.

"No Eve that's just it. It wasn't. Or maybe it was… The thing is it happened again. I'd already dreamed about Michael dropping the plait the night before he did. The same with Shane being late the evening when he had his shifted at work, when Michael fell down some of the steps at the stair and when your car didn't work Eve. I knew it was going too happened before it did, okay? And no I'm not just talking about some serious weird coincidence of déjà vu, I'm absolutely dead serious."

I personally didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to know?

"So what you're saying is that you can see the future? Come on Claire!" Eve said raising her voice.

"See! _This_ is why I didn't tell you guys, because I knew you wouldn't understand." Claire yelled back.

She started standing for the couch and walking against the staircase, a little unstable on her feet's.

"No Claire." Shane said. "Don't walk away from this now. You just passed out on us! Please sit back down okay?" The worry in his voice was clear as day.

"Okay." Claire answered. "But I need you to trust me, can you do that? If not, there's no need for me to explain."

"We do Claire," I said "we'll always trust you."

I got a small, thankful smile as answer, which was more than enough for me. She didn't say anything when she sat back down though, so I took the risk and asked a question.

"So what happened tonight?"

"Nothing. I was planning to tell you but then… I…"

"Claire, we trust you." Shane said, confirming what I'd said earlier.

And that was all it took for Claire to finally let it all out.

"He talked. Or her. I don't know. I think it was a him, it sounded as I man's voice not a woman. He asked me if it was a good idea, if I really believed it was. He told me I was stupid for wanting perfect, for wanting the good stuff. But he shouldn't know. I didn't tell anyone, I was only thinking." When Claire stopped talking she was completely out of breath.

I was so confused and nowhere near understanding what she'd just told us. But as confused as I was, I was absolutely sure of my one question.

"Who?" Shane, Eve and I, all asked in choir.

The silence before Clare's answer was unbearable. I wanted an answer, just as much as Eve and Shane, and we wanted it now.

"I don't know." Claire sighed. "But I know I would be able to recognise that voice anywhere if I ever hear it again."

This time none of us knew what to say. She didn't know. She didn't know the answer to the question we all wanted to figure out the most.

"How is it even possible?" Claire asked after the long break of silence. "How can it be that I'm able to hear someone talking to me in my mind? I know I'm not just going crazy here, it's too real. It is way too real and it scares me, it really scares me." She finished, more tears streaming down her cheeks.

Claire never cried, which was probably what scared me the most; the fact of how scared Claire was. She was probably the bravest of the four of us, and here she was admitting her rising fear in front of us. I was a vampire and I was scared. Scared for her and scared of what the hell was going on.

 **Anyone else scared? I am. What exactly is going on? And why does this happens to Claire? Well… Find out in the next chapter, which will be posted soon, or in the one after that, or the one after that, or ... xD**

 **See you soon**


	6. Chapter 6 - Perfect for me

**A secret of my own**

 **Is it even possible to have read The Morganville Vampires without totally falling in love with Shane's and Claire's relationship? Nope, don't think so! xD So here's a little treat for you guys. Enjoy :-)**

 **Chapter 6 – Perfect for me**

 _Shane's POV_

It had been about a week since Claire's confession of the truth, and I was still a bit confused to be honest. I didn't really understand what exactly had been happening to her, but I knew it had scared the crap out of her and that was all I needed to know. I'd really tried to be there for, without being to obviously, but it was hard. Sometimes I had tried to ask into it but it was clear she didn't like to talk about it at all. At some point I understood her, but on the other; I didn't. She needed to talk to us about it, if we would be able to have any chance to figure out this mess. 'I don't know any more than what I've already told you guys' that's always her answer. I knew she told the truth but I just couldn't see it would hurt anyone going over it again. Maybe we would notice something new.

Michael had tried to convince Claire to let him talk to Amelie, but she was totally against it. I had even asked her myself if there was a chance Myrnin would know something, even though I hate that guy, but Claire was also against that idea.

Nothing new had happened since that day Claire passed out in the backyard, but she was clearly still thinking a lot about it. She eat normally again and she also talked and laughed like nothing ever happened, but I was pretty sure that she still didn't sleep at night. She kept telling me she needed to make homework when it was time to go to bed, so she'd just sleep in her own bedroom.

I wish I knew how this would end. Maybe it already has ended and we all, definitely Claire, just need some time to go back to normal again. Maybe the end was still very far away. I wished the first thing was true.

 **. . .**

 _Claire's POV_

I cried. Every night I cried. I'd wait until I was sure Eve, Michael and Shane had gone to sleep and then I'd shrink together under my duvet and cry. I wasn't sure why it affected me so much but it did. I hadn't experience anything alike for about a week and I really did hope it would stay that way.

*Ding, dang, dong, dong, dang, ding* my alarm clock went off.

I was nowhere near unrested and ready for a new day, but I didn't really have a choice…

"You always have a choice my dear."

And in that second, everything stopped. It all just stopped. My heart, my brain, my everything. At least that was what it felled like.

NO. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see. I was only able to think one thing; NO!

"You just have to make up your mind."

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

Breathe Claire, breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Just breathe.

I wanted to yell for Shane so bad, but my mind wouldn't let the words come out. The only thing I could do was focusing on the voice inside my head once again.

I stumbled to the ground, trying to get myself under control but it was too hard. You always see people having panic attacks in movies but you don't ever experience it yourself, that just how it is. But apparently not for me.

The dizziness got worse and worse for every second there went by, and I couldn't seem to focus at all anymore. All I could think about was the fact that this horrible nightmare wasn't over.

*Knock knock*

"Hey Claire, you're up?" Shane's voice sounded on the other side of my bedroom door.

Oh no.

I had to pick myself together right away before he would come in.

"Claire?"

I couldn't answer, I still had problems breathing normally. If I talked he would be able to hear something was wrong right away.

"Claire answer me, are you okay?" He continued more serious and with a higher voice, his concern growing.

There didn't go more than five seconds from his question before my door got opened. The look on Shane's face shifted faster than I'd ever seen. The small hint of concern in his eyes went to full overprotective boyfriend in a split of a second, together with fear and shock.

"Claire! What happened?" Shane asked, while sitting down on the floor where I was.

"Just breathe Claire, okay? I'm here, I'm here, you're going to be okay, everything is going to be okay." He continued, taking me into his arms.

I finally found my voice. "No." I whispered. "It's not Shane." And then the tears came.

I cried in what felt like forever but Shane didn't move from my side once. He stayed there with me, down on the wooden floor of my bedroom, holding me tight in his arms. I loved him. I loved him so much. Sometimes I still couldn't see why he still wanted to be with me, being my boyfriend. He could have any girl he wanted in the world, but no, he picked me and I loved him for that.

"Shane?" I asked almost too low for him to hear.

"Yes?"

I leaned a little back so I could look into his beautiful eyes.

"It happened again."

I knew Shane would understand even though I only said those few words.

He nodded as respond. "I figured… What did you hear?"

The fact that Shane asked me what I heard, and not 'what did he say', told me he still didn't quite get all of this. But it wasn't really like I did either so I guessed I couldn't really blame him for that.

"Nothing meaningful. Just… Words." I answered. Because that was all it was; stupid words that didn't mean a thing!

"You know we need to figure this out, right Claire? This is too… Crazy. It's too much for you, too much for all of us."

"I know." I simple said. He was right, we needed to figure this out. No matter how much I didn't wanted to think or talk about it I obviously needed to.

"I think I will ask Myrnin. Maybe not directly, but you know..." I continued.

"Yeah, it's probably a good idea. Just be careful when you do."

"I will," I smiled. Once an overprotective boyfriend, always an overprotective boyfriend. Sometimes Shane could be too much, but right now I really loved his concern, I needed it.

I wouldn't lie and say Shane was perfect all the time; he had made his mistakes just like I had. But he was perfect for me and had always been.

 **Okayyy… This may not have been the longest chapter or the one with the best storyline, but hopefully a lot more things will happens in the next chapter :-) I can promise you that I have some great ideas at least!**

 **See you soon**


	7. Chapter 7 - A favour for a favour

**A secret of my own**

 **Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! You have no idea how much they means to me! If people look at my face while I finds out I've gotten a new review, they will honestly think I'm crazy or something, because of that seriously huge smiles I get xD So THANK YOU**

 **Btw. Where are you guys from in the world? I would love to know!**

. . .

 **Chapter 7 - A favour for a favour**

 _Claire's POV_

I was walking down the small path to Myrnin's place. I felt so nervous but so excited at the same time. Maybe Myrnin would have answers there could end this, answers I couldn't wait to find.

"Myrnin?" I called out as I walked down the stairs. "You're here?"

"Yes, yes, yes, my little Claire, I'm right down here but I'm busy."

Before I even entered the room, I could hear obstacles falling down. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

Everything was a mess. Loose papers, books and chemical bottles were all over the tables and floor. But it wasn't really because that was something new; it just kept surprising me I guessed.

"Uhm Myrnin, what are you doing?"

"Claire, Claire, Claire, as I said I'm busy, no time for small talk." Myrnin answered.

Guessed I was right; not the right time at all.

"But Myrnin, I just…"

"Just what?" he interrupted. "What is it there is so important for you to ask or say or whatever, for you to come down here uninvited, interrupting my important work?"

I sighed loudly and sat down on one of the chairs, there surprisingly enough wasn't full of weird stuff.

"Claaaairee?" Myrnin asked inpatient.

"Yes. Okay. The thing is Myrnin, I need to know if you've experience something weird recently? Or maybe just heard of something?" I asked with a voice that didn't sound like my own. It was so little, so unstable.

Myrnin didn't answer right away; he just looked at me with one of his _thinking looks_. This particular thinking look, was the 'I'm a bit confused thinking look'. It was very rare Myrnin showed this thinking look, but it made sense. By the way I'd acted since I came down here to my unstable voice, he would know by certainty that I didn't ask him this for fun.

"Why?" Was all he asked when he finally spoke.

"Because…" What was I supposed to say? "Because _I_ have, okay? I've experienced something weird."

Again he just made a thinking look, but this time it was more like the 'Is this a new mystery thinking look'. God those looks could piss me off sometimes.

"No." He said.

"No what?" I asked confused.

"No I haven't experienced something weird recently, and I haven't heard anything from anybody else either. Except of you of cause little Claire. Everything has actually been quite calm these latest moths, which had been a bit of a bored to be honest. But I guess everything is finally getting exciting again?" He ended with a huge grin.

"NO!" I yelled right back in his face before I had the chance to consider who I was talking to. "I mean no, it's not getting excited."

"Then you've been wasting my time little Claire." And with that he turned his back to be and continued whatever he was doing before I got here.

I was furious! This was important. Way more important than whatever he was in the middle of. I knew I could just tell him yes; that something was getting excited, but I just couldn't. As Myrnin had made pretty clear, he would look at this as another exciting mystery in Morganville he could solve. But the thing was, I didn't want anyone to look at this problem of mine as another exciting mystery, I wanted people to see the danger in it. I wanted people to help me solve this because they cared about me, and was afraid what could happen if it didn't stop. I wanted people to look at this problem as Shane did.

. . .

I was completely out of breath when I walked down the corner to the main road. In spite of the fact that I had lived in Morganville for quite a while now, I was still nowhere near being in good shape. The anger still boiled inside of me because of Myrnin. Sometimes he could just really piss me off. Why wouldn't he just listen to me? And help me for my sake, not just for his?

"I can. And I will. If you'll only let me dear Claire."

I froze in my footstep. I didn't know what to do.

For once I wasn't afraid of the voice inside my head. I was too angry to be scared.

"What?" I asked.

"I said; I can help you."

For the first time the voice, his voice, didn't just say stupid, not meaningful words. Maybe I wasn't supposed to be afraid of them, but listen.

"How?" I asked; my voice stern.

"A favour for a favour dear Claire."

"No." I answered right away; I knew where this was going.

"It's only fair that way and you know it."

The worst thing was; he was right. It was only fair I helped him if he helped me. But I knew it was stupid. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I still answered: "Okay."

I expected for him to say something right away; tell me what he wanted me to do, but nothing came. He heard me didn't he? He heard me say okay. Shit. I'd said okay! What the hell was wrong with me?!

I ran the rest of the way home. Not because I was scared but because I needed the pain in my lungs to overcome the thoughts of how stupid I had just been.

. . .

 _Shane's POV_

It was my day to make dinner so chilli it was. Eve wasn't home for work yet, Michael was playing on his guitar in the living room and Claire was either still in school or at Myrnin's. Normally I would really hope she wasn't at Myrnin's but not today. Today I actually hoped she had went there and talked to him about the thing. I didn't know what to call it to be honest.

"Hey."

I turned around real quick. I hadn't heard anybody walk in to the kitchen, probably because of my many thoughts.

It was Claire.

"Hey." I answered; a smile growing on my face. "Sooo?" I continued.

"Sooo, what?" She asked.

"Sooo, did you talk with Myrnin?"

She hesitated before answering this time.

"Yeah I talked to him."

"And?" I asked curious and impatient.

"And nothing. He hasn't experienced, seen or heard anything."

That was not what I wanted to hear at all. What I wanted was for Claire to tell me that yes, Myrnin had heard something about it and he knew exactly what to do about it; how to help Claire.

"So nothing. We're back to having nothing." I stated.

Once again Claire hesitated before saying anything.

"Yeah I guess so." She said and left the kitchen.

 _That_ left me confused, more than what I already was. She didn't even seem sad about it. It was just yesterday I had found her breathless on her bedroom floor, crying her eyes out in my arms for hours. She was so scared, so afraid, but now she seemed like she didn't even care. How was that possible?

. . .

 _Claire's POV_

Dinner went on like normally. Eve came a bit late but not more than five minutes tops. We talked about all of ours day, about everything and nothing. I didn't tell Eve and Michael about my talk with Myrnin, why should I? It wasn't really because I'd gotten anything out of it. And they definitely didn't need to hear about me crying as a little baby the day before. Shane did send me some suspicious looks throughout dinner though, but he didn't say or ask me anything. He was probably just concerned about me, which I couldn't really blame him for.

After dinner, Eve and Michael took the dishes and Shane started playing on of his zombie games, so I decided to go to bed early. And for the first time in a very long time I got an amazing night's sleep.

. . .

 **Oh no. Making deals with the devil Claire – probably not the best idea sweetie.**

 **For the next 5 days I'll have an exchange student from Portugal living with me, so I don't think I'll have time to update… Sorry! But I hope I'll be able to post the next chapter on Sunday :-)**

 **See you soon**


	8. Chapter 8 - Lost or not?

**A secret of my own**

 **Claire might have gotten back her bravery, but what happens when Shane actually start thinking a bit for himself as a change? Read and found out!**

 **Btw if you by any chance also are a Divergent fan, check out my newest and only second, fanfiction! It's called: You don't know me :-) I'm pretty glad about that story as well, especially because it definitely has a different storyline that the typical Divergent fanfictions!**

 **My friend from Portugal is no longer staying with me in Denmark, sadly, but it means that I finally had time to post this chapter :D Enjoy**

 **. . .**

 **Chapter 8 – Lost or not?**

 _Shane's POV_

I was giving up. I'd no longer any idea of what to think, what to say or what to do. Claire acted as everything was back to normal, like nothing had ever happened. She had acted that way since the day she talked with Myrnin… Could he have said something? That was honestly the only reason I could come up with. But if that was true; that Myrnin had told Claire something more, something that would change the way she looked at it, it would mean that Claire had been lying for me… I really thought she was done with that. I really thought she trusted me.

I went to her door to knock.

"Yeah?" Claire answered.

"Can I come in?" I asked politely.

"Sure," she said while I let myself in "what's up?"

"We need to talk."

"Doesn't sound particular good?" She asked with a confused look.

What was I going to say? 'I just wanted to let you know that I think you're lying to me _again_ , and that I obviously doesn't trust you either since I come here asking this'. Nope, didn't think so.

"Shane's what's wrong?"

"Well that's what I wanted to ask you." I tried.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's wrong as in what's wrong Claire! Have you just forgotten about everything, that has happened?!" I ask with rising voice.

"No, trust me I haven't Shane. But I can't keep living in the past okay, and right now it seems like everything is fine, so let's just enjoy. All right?"

And worst of all; she ended her sentence with a smile! How could she even smile at times like that? Something seriously sick was going on, _to her_ , and there she was; smiling?!

"No!" I stated firm. "We can't."

And with that I turned my back to her, slammed the door and went down the stairs. That in there wasn't Claire. She wouldn't just give up, or forget or whatever. Not on a problem like that. She would do anything in her power to find out the truth behind it and end it for good. The only solution to her facade could be Myrnin; there was no other options that the fact, that he had told her something more than what she had told me. I guessed there was no other way to find out, than going directly to the source, as much as I hated the idea.

 **. . .**

"Myrnin, you're down here?" I yelled as I came to his… Well whatever it is he was living it.

No answer.

"Myrnin?!" I yelled even angrier. Where the hell was that creature?

I still didn't get an answer so I just went down there, and in the corner of the room, with his back against me, stood Myrnin.

"What the hell Myrnin?!"

"And you want?" He just asked. How dared he talk to me like that after ignoring me?!

I was just about to yell some more at him, but then I remembered why I was there. I probably wouldn't get many answers from him, if I kept the yelling up.

"Answers." I stated arrogant.

"I've already talked with Claire so there's no need." He answered simple.

"Well the thing is, I don't care what you've told Claire! I want you to tell _me_."

"On one condition: Only if you would get yourself out of here, right after?" He questioned. That was typical Myrnin; never a big fan of visitors, unless it was Amelie or Claire of course.

"Fine. Do tell."

"Okay then. I can only tell you the same I told Claire though."

"Again, fine. Just tell me already!" God he could be so annoying sometimes. No, correction; he was always so damn annoying.

"Nothing." He then finally said.

"Sorry what?" I asked, for the first time talking politely.

"I. DO. NOT. KNOW. ANYING." And with that he turned around, stared at me with his deadly eyes and vampire teeth down.

I didn't care though. "Shut up and tell me okay! I know that's a lie. I don't why you and Claire thinks you can't tell me, but I want except it until you do."

"Well Collins… Unless you want to never go home, you turn your ass around now and get out of here! I don't know with drama you and little Claire have in your ridiculous relationship, but I don't care, do you understand? I don't know what's going on, but when Claire's ready, hopefully she'll tell me. I trust her."

Trust. I couldn't help feeling guilty right away. Even Myrnin trusted her but somehow I couldn't get myself to do it, to trust her. Normally I did but right now I just couldn't. But I guessed that wasn't the real problem. The actual problem was that Myrnin didn't know. He honestly didn't know.

I ended up just nodded and went up the stairs and out the door. I barely got out before my head exploded with thoughts, and for me that was very rare.

Why? Why did she act that way if she hadn't figured _anything_ out? She wouldn't just give up, that I was sure of. But then why did I care? Why would I care if Claire didn't even care herself? If she was out, I was out as well.

 **. . .**

 _Claire's POV_

I didn't know where Shane was, he had left the house after our discussion this morning. Even though it never really became much of a discussion after my opinion, but apparently it meant a big deal to Shane.

It started to get late and he still wasn't home. Of course I couldn't help myself worrying if he was okay, and also arguing with my self rather or not it was my fault. I guessed it kind of was. If I had just told him the truth; that yes, I had found some answers. The reason to why I hadn't told him was pretty simple though; he wouldn't let me anywhere near completing that favour. If that was because he didn't trust me enough to make dicisions myself, or because he cared too much for my safety, I didn't know. But I knew I wouldn't let Shane be the reason why I didn't take this opportunity.

"He's not home yet?" Michael asked as he walked into the living room, where I was sitting.

"Nope."

"Something's going between you guys?" He continued.

There was no need for me to lie; he would no right away anyway. "Maybe."

"Right… it doesn't have anything to do with the thing do it?" He asked, suddenly sounded very nervous.

I didn't answer, instead I just kept my mouth shut.

"What has happened?!"

"No Michael it's not like that, nothing's happened." I answered, which was actually a lie. Shane and I had never told Eve and him about the night in my bedroom.

Michael just looked at me skeptical; he knew.

"Okay… There was this night, some time ago now, where I heard it again."

Michael gasped.

"It didn't mean anything," I continued, "but I heard him. It freaked me out of course, so Shane convicted me to talk to Myrnin."

"And?" Michael asked obvious curious.

"Nothing. He didn't know anything unfortunately."

And then there was silence for a long time. I guessed Michael didn't know what to say to that, which made sense. By what he knew, we were back to nothing, just as Shane thought. Only _I_ knew it wasn't quite like that. I couldn't help getting excited at that thought; the thought that there was still hope for me to figure it out. Getting excited on the inside was probably the most stupid thing I could have done though.

"There's more isn't there?" Michael asked as I expected.

"No!" I answered way to fast. Well done Claire…

"I'm listening?"

"Michael no. You have to believe me, okay? You have to trust me as you said you did."

"I guess I did tell you that when you passed out, didn't I?" He asked, but it was more like a statement.

"Yeah, you did." I confirmed.

"Okay then." The disappointment was clear in his voice, but he accepted it anyway.

In spite of the fact that I was pretty sure _that_ was the ending of our little conversation, it still felt like we got interrupted when Shane came stumbling into the living room. He didn't look like him self at all. His hair was one big mess, his shirt gone which left his chest bare, and his eyes were looking everywhere.

"Shane?" I asked worried.

"Well isn't that you, the sweet, little, goodie girl Claire." He stayed, stumbling over some of the words.

At first I din't get why he would say a sentence like that, but then it made sense. He was drunk, as in seriously, really drunk.

 **. . .**

 **A Claire who hears voices, a suspicious Michael and a drunken Shane… For the first time I'm actually happy that I'm not a member of the Glass House gang! xD Oh yeah, and where is Eve? Something tells me Claire's not going to get her good night's sleep! Or maybe a miracle will happen and everything works out just fine... Who knows? Well actually I do, so be ready for next chapter! :D**

 **See you soon**


	9. Chapter 9 - Blood, always blood

**A secret of my own**

 **Almost 500 views! I can't believe so many have checked out this story, it's so cool.**

 **My final exams is just around the corner, and that's is honestly the only good excuse I have for not updating … I'm really sorry but here it is, the next chapter :D Enjoy**

 **. . .**

 _Ending of chapter 8:_

" _Shane?" I asked worried._

" _Well isn't that you, the sweet, little, goodie girl Claire." He said, stumbling over some of the words._

 _At first I didn't get why he would say a sentence like that, but then it made sense. He was drunk, as in seriously, really drunk."_

 **. . .**

 **Chapter 9 – Blood, always blood**

 _Claire's POV_

The guilt hit me right away. I was the reason why he had gone to get drunk. If that ridiculous argument just hasn't happened, then Shane wouldn't stand there in front of us totally wasted.

"You're drunk." Michael stated for me.

Shane just laughed at that, while taking a seat in the chair in front of us in the couch.

"Shane?" I tried again.

"Yes little miss perfect? What can I do to sacrifice you?" He answered with a smirk. But not the usually charming Shane smirk, no a hateful, uncontrolled smirk.

" _Shane_." Michael warned.

It was great to know he had my back as always, but right now I honestly wished he would just let Shane and I be alone.

"Maybe you could get us something to drink Michael?" I tried without sounding to demanding.

After a nervous stare he raised and left the living room, leaving us alone.

"Once again huh." Shane mumbled.

"I'm sorry what?"

"Again. I said you did it again. Said something and just expected another to just do it, to just listen, without any doubting at all." He explained.

I knew there was more behind his statements but I was to surprise to read more into it in that moment.

"Is that's how you see me?" I dared asking.

He didn't answer, which definitely hurt way more than any answer would have been able to. Since Shane and I started dating I'd always been afraid of the day he would realize that I really was nothing, that moment he would figure out that he could find so many other better alternatives. It seemed like we finally reached that day. And it hurt. It hurt to get told that all, your boyfriend saw in you was a self-centred, demanding person.

"What's wrong with you Claire?" Shane finally spoked, but the normal concerned voice was harsh and cold instead.

In spite of the fact that I knew he was drunk, and I shouldn't take any of what he said literally, I couldn't help myself to go in defence mood.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked back, my voice rising for each new word, "You mean what's wrong with you Shane! We had one little discussion, which was barely an argument, and then you go out and get yourself drunk to then later judge _me_?"

"Fuck you Claire."

I didn't turn my head to see him walk up the stairs, since it would be a waste of time. I wouldn't be able to see anything because of the tears gathering in my eyes, ready to fall. I just kept sitting there doing nothing for who knows how long. I loved him, I really did. And I knew he loved me. We loved each other. But then why? Why did we keep doing this to each other?

"Eve just texted me." Michael said, coming through the kitchen door. "I'm going to go get her, you want to come?"

I know he only asked me this because he'd heard it all through the doors. Damn vampire senses!

"No I'm good."

"Sure?"

"Yeah." I said smiling. Or at least I tried to smile, I'm pretty sure I didn't manage to do it very well.

It was times like these I really missed my old life, my life before I moved to Morganville. If I got the chance I would never choose to not have come to Morganville, but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes miss the more simple time I had. No vampires, no boy problems and no hearing voices.

"We could be finish." … talking of hearing voices.

"How?" I asked not caring rather if not Shane would hear me. He would probably have forgotten it the day after anyways because of the alcohol.

"Well what seems to always be the solution in Morganville Claire?"

Blood, always blood.

"Yes. You do live up to your reputation; clever as ever in spite of your young age."

Well, clearly I didn't have to speak out loud to communicate with him.

"True. So what do you say? A favour for a favour?"

"I have to get you blood?" I asked out loud again.

"Yes."

"You know it's not easy to steal from the hospital or the blood bank."

"I never said anything about it being easy. But clever as you are, you do have misunderstood something my dear Claire."

"Misunderstood what?" It was a pretty simple task, what could I have misunderstood?

"I don't want and I don't need blood from either the hospital or the blood bank. What I do need is yours, dear Claire."

My blood; he wanted my blood.

"Yes dear. That's the favour you'll have to do for me if you want this to stop."

There was only one question I really want an answer to.

"How?"

Since I started to hear the voice in my head, this was my first chance for answers – to figure out rather if he was a vampire or not.

"Two streets before the coffee shop, on the left, tomorrow at midnight."

Never had I ever wished that the voice wouldn't stop. I finally thought I would get some answers, but instead I just got a new opportunity to risk my own life.

 **. . .**

 _Eve's POV_

The waiting for Michael had felt like forever. I was tired and tender after a whole day working at the coffee shop, and I just really wanted to get home in bed. Finally the car lights came into view and my beloved car was recognisable with Michael behind the steering wheel. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips; I never could when it was Michael. I have had a crush on him in such a long time before it actually became anything, so now when we finally was together, and had been for quite a while, I couldn't help myself lighting up whenever he was around.

"Finally!" I said as I jumped in.

"Yeah yeah, I had to take care of the child's at home before I could get you." He answered as a joke, but I could see the tenderness behind it.

"Fill med in?"

"Well apparently Claire have heard the voice again which Shane also knew. Aside from that they have had an argument or something like that, which resolved in a drunk Shane and a new discussion." As calm as Michael tried to stay his frustration came through.

"How is it now?"

"I think they both went to bed. Claire was still up when I drove though, didn't seem too happy."

"Did you hear it?" I asked.

I had always been one of those irritating girl who wanted to know all about everything that was going on. Ironically, this was exactly that kind of girl I hated the most. I guessed I was really girlish even though I was a Goth as well.

"Hear what?"

"The argument of course Michael!"

"Oh, uhm yeah."

"Sooo?" I pushed.

"Well let's just say Shane wasn't quite nice to Claire, and that Claire didn't really choose to ignore it, even though she knew it was a drunken Shane talking."

"Kids." I sighed. And with that we both burst out laughing.

Even though Michael and I were barely older than Shane and Claire, especially me and Shane, we always felt as the adult couple compared with them. It made sense though; Claire was definitely younger than us, even though she was way smarter, and Shane acted most frequently as if he was even younger than Claire.

As much as Michael and I continued joking about them and their recently arguments on the rest of the way home, I couldn't help myself being worried. It wasn't like Shane and Claire auguring this much. Normally it was actually really rarely they did discuss, and when they finally did it was mostly about Myrnin, Shane being to overprotective or Claire to risky. What would happen if they broke up? Would they even be able to still live together in the same house, or would they be the reason the Glass House gang scattered? No, no, no. These were way to depressive thoughts to even consider thinking about. Instead I slowly leaned over and kissed Michael on his cheek, his soft, pale cheek.

 **. . .**

 **For the very first time in this fanfiction I've written from Eve's POV – what do you think about that? Review and let me know :-)**

 **I must admit though, that I'm personally not the biggest fan of Eve in The Morganville Vampires. I've also never really thought Eve belonged together with Michael, but… I do not want to start screwing with theirs relationship as well, I promise xD**

 **Btw I've just started a new very different fanfiction for the book Red Queen (my new favourite book)! I'm so in love with that book series, and that is why I've chosen to make a fanfiction with fitting songs to the series :-) So if you're a fan of Red Queen as well, please go check it out. And if you don't know the book series, then start reading right away! It's the best books ever! :D**

 **See you soon**


	10. Chapter 10 - Midnight meeting

**A secret of my own**

 **First I want to say** _ **thank you**_ **for 500 views! Actually we aren't that far from 600 xD All of those single views means a lot to me just as well as the reviews. No… That would be an understatement – the reviews mean so incredible much to me and make me seriously happy! :D**

 **I have my first exam tomorrow :( It is a 5 hours long exam in Danish… Not the worst but I really wish I didn't have to do it anyways.**

 **. . .**

 **Chapter 10 – Midnight meeting**

The sunset was just around the corner and I couldn't help feeling anxious. I still hadn't talked with Shane since our argument yesterday. I waked up early and went to school right away. His words from the day before still hurt a lot. I knew he was drunk and he may not have meant to say those exact words but I knew they were true. You may talk shit when you're drunk but it's always the truth – the truth you're too scared to tell when your body isn't affected my alcohol.

After school I went to Myrnin's place. I told myself it was to help out Myrnin and be useful, but everybody knew the real reason; I was avoiding Shane.

When I walked home I couldn't help but almost walk in slow motion. The thought about looking Shane in his eyes, seeing the anger and disappointment in them again made tears show in my eyes. The thought that our relationship had reached it end hurt so bad. I knew I was probably overreacting but I just couldn't help it.

As I reached the glasshouse the sun was more than less gone and only the evening's darkness was showing. Shane may didn't care about me anymore but I still wouldn't get away with being this late, because of Eve and Michael.

"Claire? Is that you?" It sounded from the living room as I walked through the doors.

"Yeah it's me."

"Where the hell has you been all day? You could have texted us you know?" Eve attacked me right away as expected.

"I know. Sorry about that."

"You okay?" She continued.

"Fine."

Stupid Claire. Stupid choice of word. Every single person in this universe knew that the word 'fine' mean the absolute opposite.

"Where's uhmm…" I started.

"His room. You should probably talk to him Claire." Michael answered.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. _I_ should go talk to _him_? Shane was the one who pushed me away by saying what he apparently really thought of me.

"No thanks Michael. I'm good." And with that I lifted my backpack up from the floor again and walked up the stairs.

Just before I reached the top step Michael said: "He asked for you Claire… Not just once."

I didn't answer, just continued my walk to my bedroom, passing Shane's door as was it nothing.

 **. . .**

From the minute I'd walked through me bedrooms door the time had passed in slow motion, with the anxious feeling raised in me for each minute. There was still one hour to midnight and I wasn't able to figure out anymore I could do any longer. I'd been reading, writing, making homework twice, tried to sleep and the list went on. If I had just been able to sleep then maybe the time would have went a little faster, but no I was way too anxious for that. If Eve or Michael knew what I was planning to do tonight they would kill me themselves. Maybe even Shane?

Let me be honest; the most of the waiting time I was actually waiting for the usual knocking melody on my door. He never came though.

When the clock finally reached eleven thirty I rose from my bed and prepared. I emptied my backpack from books and filled it with weapons instead. I took all from knifes to silver spears. He had the ability to communicate to me through my mind but that didn't necessarily make him a vampire. Who knew what he could be and how many of his kind there may were?

Not long ago I only thought vampires and creatures like that was fantasy but Morganville quickly learned me otherwise. And soon after the vampires the draugs came to existents as well. I still didn't really get what they were, the draugs. Water yeah but how? I hated not having all the answers; I guess that's kind of the package when you're a nerd. Because that was what I was and would always be, a nerd - always quicker in my head than on my feed. That was why I had Shane. He protected me, he fired the necessary shots, swung the spears and knifes while I were coming up with a clever plan. We were a great couple in so many ways and I would always love him no matter what. Even though he said some shit yesterday I still couldn't help being nervous about, if he was going to hate me even more after this.

 **. . .**

The voice in my head had said two streets from the coffee shop. I was now three. The regret started to fill my mind and I was so close to turn around again and again, but each time my legs stopped my mind yelled at them for keep moving. Not the mystic man's voice but my own. I needed this to stop; I needed all of this to reach an end. And also I couldn't help my curiosity - who was this man with this ability? Why did only I hear the voice? Why did he want my blood? Why now?

As I reached the second closest street at the coffee shop I turned to the dark alley on my left, just as I was told. I couldn't see a thing so I kept close to the wall.

"Stop."

I did. I don't know why, but of some reason I had expected the voice to come from an actual person at this moment and not still in my head.

"There's a bucket on the ground."

And?

"Use it."

I guess that was one advantage by this kind of communication. I didn't have to think and then talk, I could settle by just thinking; let my brain do the work. This time though I didn't know what to think because I simple didn't understood. Use it? What?

"Don't tell me you didn't bring weapons. I'm not stupid you know dear Claire I'm actually quite clever."

Which one of them?

"The knife."

"So you're not a vampire?" I couldn't help but asked out loud.

"It's not for me."

So he is a vampire?

"I didn't get you to come here dear Claire to give you answers, but to stop you from getting more questions. Now take out the knife."

Slowly but surely I did. I still couldn't see a thing so I cut myself while finding it in my backpack.

"Cut."

What did he mean now? Cut what?

"You."

For the first time since I arrived here I froze. I knew he wanted me to give him my blood but cutting myself. No.

"A favour for a favour dear Claire. You know the rules as well as I."

I did. I knew what I was getting into long before that moment but the fear of actually having to do it, to cut myself, overcame the old fear of having a voice inside my head. I had already gotten used to it somehow but I knew what I had to do anyways. If I didn't make this stop I would go crazy sooner or later. I would lose my parents, Eve, Michael … and Shane. I couldn't lose him.

So I did it. I took the knife towards my left wrist and cut. The second the blade touched my thin skin the pain started. It hurt like hell. The tears quickly followed. I didn't understood how I was able to continue the cut from one side of my wrist to the other, but I did it all the way. The blood poured out of me and there was nothing I could do about it. The bottom of the bucket was only just covered and I already felt as I was about to pass out. This was a mistake, a huge mistake.

 **. . .**

 **You're damn right it was Claire! And probably the most stupid mistake you could ever make. Just don't die okay? Oh wait, that's my decision to make xD**

 **And Shane… What the heck is going on with Shane? Pull yourself together man!**

 **Can't wait to write next chapter, I'm so excited :-) It want be until after my Danish exam though. I hope I'll be able to post it this weekend but I won't make any promises.**

 **See you soon**


	11. Chapter 11 - I love you

**A secret of my own**

 **600 views, you guys are incredible! Thank youuu**

 **And a special thank you to** _ **clairebear97**_ **who has been amazingly supportive since the very beginning of this story! Your latest review made my day and I felt so bad for not having time to update.**

 **. . .**

 **Chapter 11 –** _ **I love you**_

 _Claire's POV_

The strong light from the sun made it hard to open my eyes. It felt like it was the first time in my entire lifetime, that I ever saw the summer sunshine. I finally managed to open them completely. I was still in the creepy alley not long from the coffee shop. Oh no! It was clearly already morning if not noon, which meant the others would be awake. How would I ever explain that to my friends?

Not long ago I felt too weak to even lift my head but now I jumped up. I started sprinting home right away, not long after I reached the corner of our street. There was no police car or anything like that which was good but also bad, because that meant they had probably been searching for me on food, maybe even in the dark.

I silently opened the door. "Hellooo?"

"Who's there?" Michael asked from the living room. The sound of his guitar disappeared.

"Claire."

"What are you doing home?"

Huh? What's that supposed to mean?

"Uhm, what do you mean?" I asked as I entered the room.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school? I thought you had morning classes?"

"Morning classes?"

"Yes morning classes" he continued "you were gone when I woke up so I just assumed that…"

"Oh yes of cause" I interrupted "I had morning classes."

He didn't know! None of them knew that I had been gone the entire night! I didn't know if I should be happy or disappointed.

"Sooo?" Michael asked.

"So what?"

"Why are you home then? Now?"

"Oh that… Well…" Think fast Claire! "I was uhm… One of my classes got canceled." I lied.

Michael just looked at me with confusion. I would be too if I were him. I never come home from school not even if I got lessons cancelled. I always just staid and did something else clever. Before he got the chance to ask into it I walk up the stairs to my room.

I was insanely tired so I jumped directly onto my bed and started throwing of my clothes. It didn't take me long but right when I grabbed for my top I noticed my left wrist. There was blood everywhere; my lower arm, my wrist, my hand, my fingers. It was all solidified though but it still looked seriously grossed.

It took me about ten minutes cleaning it in the washbowl before I gave up and took a bath instead. It went much faster and like that I was sure of getting it all washed away, so there would be no evidence. There was evidence though. Evidence I would have a hard time keeping from the others. I put a bandage around it – thick enough to keep the deep cut from bleeding through, but thin enough to not be to noticeable. I could finally go to sleep and when I did I was out before I could count to three.

. . .

 _Shane's POV_

I had not seen Claire since our argument the other night. I still can't believe how I had acted. I didn't remember the entire conversation and my exact words, but I do remember the last I said to her was "Fuck you Claire." I hated myself for saying something like that to her, Claire, the girl I loved with my entire heart. The blame had only grown stronger ever since but I still couldn't get myself to face her. I had never been the guy with words, I never knew what to say or at least try to stay. I always just ended up talking shit or saying nothing and look like an idiot. But I knew this one was on me and I loved her. It was time to be brave, to be a man with a girlfriend he loved, not just a stupid teenage boy.

*Knock knock* I didn't use my normal knocking melody but I did knock which was all that mattered in that moment. She didn't answer though.

*Knock knock* I tried again. Still no answer.

"Claire? You in there?" *Knock knock*

"Shane?" Her voice finally said. It was very low though and she didn't sound like herself.

"Yeah… Can I come in?"

Again I didn't get an answer.

"Claire?"

Slowly I heard the key turn in the door and it being pulled open. When it was open enough that I could see her she just nodded her head in direction of the inside of her room and went to sit on her bed.

"It's up to you if you want to come in," she started "I should reluctantly get you to do something you don't want to, just because I apparently expect people to do that."

She clearly remembered my words from the argument. I would have remembered them as well if the one I loved said anything like that to me.

"I… Claire you know I was drunk. I didn't mean any of those things I said that night." I explained.

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious Claire. I…"

"You didn't mean them," she interrupted "I get it Shane its fine. I don't believe it though but that doesn't matter right now. What do you want?"

"You."

That finally got her to look up at me. The surprise showed clearly in her deep brown eyes. My quick answer even surprised myself.

"I want you Claire." I continued. "I want all of you. Not only the things you want me to have, the things you want me to see, the secrets you want me to know. No. I want it all. Every single thing do you understand?"

The silence was so deep when I finished my little speech. For once I had said exactly what I wanted to say, what I really thought about everything and her.

"I love you Claire."

And with that she broke. The tears came in a split of a second and the bed could no longer hold her up. She went sitting on the floor with her head hidden between her arms. All of this before I even had time to take one step towards her.

As soon as I sat down beside her she leaned in and I let my arms fell around her. The crying continued and soon turned into big sobs. How could I have been such an idiot? I had one person I loved, one person I really cared about and I let that person down. Claire was a seriously strong girl, much stronger than me, and there she was sobbing into my chest.

After some time she pulled back out of my embrace. She still held her head down not wanting to look me in my eyes. I couldn't blame her for that, I deserved it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"No Claire, don't be. I'm sorry okay."

She just shocks her head, nodding no.

"Look at me." I said.

She didn't.

"Please look at me Claire." I repeated as I placed my hands softly around her wrists. She winced right away and pulled her hands back from mine. I didn't have to ask why because I had time to feel it; the bandage, and she knew it.

"It's…" She started but she never said anymore.

"Please Claire." I begged.

I needed her to tell me by herself. It was hard to contain my anger though. Somebody had hurt my Claire, my girl, and I couldn't help feeling the anger started to boil inside me. The person who had done that to her would not get away with it no matter what, but first I needed to listen to Claire.

 **. . .**

 **I don't know about you guys but I totally just needed some perfect Claire/Shane moments. I couldn't stand the thought of them being angry at each other any longer! Probably because my bff and I don't really have the best relationship right now, which totally sucks.**

 **I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter but my exams take more time and effort that I first believed :(**

 **But let me know what you think about Shane pulling himself together and being the guy we all dream of :))**

 **See you soon**


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